Hopeful nerd cum lifesaver

I dont know why but the feeling suddenly changed. I really love to teach, dont get me wrong. And i still am. Those who know me can confirm that i love to teach.

Couple of weeks ago i resented to my boss that i would like to postpone my post-graduate training until next year. Its nothing really, considering i teach, became acting secretary, monitor, became tutor etc etc and it made me feel awkward to leave all this before i can fully enjoy it. Now when Dato’ had finally agreed, theres a slip of conscience that i might made the biggest mistake of my life.

“To pursue the greatest of need” - i still remember my little dicusion with little fahmi. Little that i know that he will not remain very little afterwards. No pun intended! But knowledge is the greatest of need, as it is the practical answer to solve almost all problems.

But in order to pursue, you must well-equiped. You must be aware, that you NEED to do this. once you think its optional, it will not became a hunt anymore. It’ll be some exercise that you may choose to top at any time. And i just asked to be demoted from “pursue” tu “exercise”.

So, afterwards i was left with this great empty void, the feeling that you get after you’d tressed too much and you left with nothing to do except to do nothing. The fear of the impending oncoming uncertainty. The fear of the unknown.

“am i still what i think i am?”

Deary God!

Comic books lying undisterbed next to me, my fingersm wrists, neck, back, all cramp and stiff from sitting too long, eyes straining wathing every pixels, reading every hints, my plants unwatered - welcome to Hellgate -London.

well, i know i have too much obligation to fulfil but right now, its weekend. the MMC is closed, Dean of internal medicine of HUKM and her ever unhelpful personal assistant are on weekend leave. Am i suppose to worry sick about my master application day in day out? i know the answer is yes, but right now i need a 12 hour period of pure gaming pleasure.

hopefully there will be no problems with me enrolling this coming december. with the MMC problem and time-frame, i cant see how i’m suppose to start the program this December.

anyhow, good luck to all of my mates and colleague, its been a fun and challanging life in Belfast. I just want it to stop now and start living my reality here in Malaysia.

oh, and i need to buy a couch first.